Something Like Lightning by Jay Bell

Author:Jay Bell [Bell, Jay]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-10-08T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

“So he got a job,” Allison said. “Big whoop. You’ll still have weekends together, and really, not many people your age share a bed every night with the person they love. You’re spending more time together than any of your peers.”

Kelly shook his head. “I trust my instincts. William is distancing himself from me on purpose. I don’t blame him. Lately I’m so damn pissy.”

Allison didn’t argue the point. Instead her brow furrowed as she looked over her notes. She hadn’t taken them while he talked, meaning she must have written down her observations after their previous session. He wondered—if he asked—whether he would be allowed to read them or not. “I’m glad we’re talking about William,” she said. “Let’s go back to the accident. Last time you said it wasn’t William’s fault.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Okay. Do you feel like the accident was anyone’s fault?”

Kelly nodded. He’d thought about this many times. “I pushed him,” Kelly said. “Not just that morning in the car, but even before then. There’s this part of me that feels vulnerable, and my reaction is to lash out. Well, I kept lashing out at William until he couldn’t take it anymore.”

Allison frowned. “You’d be surprised how often I hear the same thing, usually from women. They didn’t fulfill their husband’s needs or take his feelings into consideration or blah blah blah, and that’s why he was forced to hit them.”

“It was an accident,” Kelly stressed. “William isn’t abusive. I’m not a battered woman!”

“So the only way William could have reacted that day was to jerk the wheel and send you both spiraling into traffic? He couldn’t have ignored you, or told you to shut up, or pulled over until he got his temper under control?”

Kelly sighed. “My mom got to you, didn’t she? They hate William, and you’re supposed to make me feel the same way.”

“Nope,” Allison said. “I’m not trying to break you guys up. Believe me, I know how impossible it is to talk sense into a lovesick heart. But I am trying to make a point. You blame yourself for what happened, right? Well, what if the situation was reversed?”

“Like if I had been driving that day?”

“And lost your temper, turned the car into oncoming traffic, and cost William his leg. Just think how that would have affected his life.”

Kelly’s head spun as he considered the implications. “No more swimming. At least not like before. And definitely no Coast Guard. William wants to be a rescue swimmer, and it’s one of the most physically grueling programs out there. Hardly anyone graduates.”

“In other words,” Allison said, “a shattered dream. How would you feel if you had done all that to him?”

“Awful.”

“And who would you blame. Him?”

“No!” Kelly said instantly.

“But he made you so angry! While you were driving! He pushed and pushed and—”

“Okay,” Kelly said quietly. “I get it.”

“You want to know why you harbor so much anger?” Allison asked. “Maybe it’s because you haven’t allowed yourself to be angry at the right person. You keep blaming yourself, and honestly, I’m not asking you to stop and blame William instead.

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